What got me so worked up? My manager, I have never taken to her, but in good spirit I put this aside and tried to find ways of accepting her. Inviting her to lunch, to my home to shopping, the feeling still lingers, but I keep pushing it away. A few ago I found out that she has been lying to me on a very basis level and there was really no need for it as I did not broach the subjects, she brought them up. This week she must have been having a bad day, yeh I know I am still trying; she threw a very negative statement at me, which left me reeling, angry, mad. After a very tense discussion to get to root cause, she apologized, and I left letting her know how disappointed I felt. I wanted to accepted that her apology was real, but, reluctantly I have to admit it does not feel that way. So I have given up and accept there is something there that I cannot reach in her, and you know something it feel better, the anger has gone. I can only do what I can, the rest is up to others. But she is just one in a million, there are still a lot of very nice, reasonably, accepting, lovely people out there. What do you say.
8 comments:
You know, you're so much of a better person just for giving her a chance. I don't know a lot of people who would even bother trying that. And it's good that you can accept who she is and move on easily, again that's not a very easy thing to do. I think you're one of those people who is always the bigger person in most situations and are too good of a human being to waste your time on people who are not worth it or can't appreciate you. She is a crappy one in a million.
Awww! You know what? I read that and I can totally relate! I am very intuitive as well, but I don´t always listen to my gut. I am always seeing the best in people, and giving them the benefit of the doubt, even if my gut is telling me otherwise. In the end, its only ourselves who end up getting hurt, annoyed and frustrated, but at the same time, we would miss out on so much if we were to go through life instantly "giving-up" on everyone we dont get an instant good vibe from, or those who we dont instantly click with! I do think its a virtue to have the patience and "kindness" to give people a chance to reveal their "true" selves, to get to know them, to not judge them and give them the benefit of the doubt. Just try not to have high expectations from those you instantly get a bad vibe from, and you shouldn´t end up getting too upset if you discover your instict was right all along. Easier said than done though... Hugs. xxx
Seriously that is all you can do. I have come to the realization in life that I cannot expect for people to say and act the way I would in a situation....that is called twisted thinking on my part. You do have to let it go....good you put it out there, gave her something to reflect on...just remember it is her problem, not yours!~
I can relate as well. I have been there. I had a boss like that (she didn't lie) who was horrible and had a horrible personality.
People always tell me: "you're too nice."
I give them lots of chances, but you have to reach the point where you just have to accept it and move on, and yes, sometimes an apology is not enough; but what more can you do?
The unfortunate thing is that you still work with her and if you can't trust someone you work under then it really makes for a bad working environment. I feel for you. It sounds like no amount of talking with this woman will improve the situation either. Keep your head up, do the work expected of you and hopefully her time will pass quickly and she will move on to greener pastures. Hang in there.
I copied your "Tried/lied/cried" sign. There is someone who needs to see it. But it probably won't do any good. One time I saw on someone's blog. "Hurt me again so I'll know it's really over." She didn't get that either. Your situation is too sad. You wonder why people behave the way they do. They surely can't be happy. I love that you finally accept the situation and feel better. You've done your part and then some. Good for you.
Good for you for speaking up. Not everyone would have the ability to do so.
I'm sorry about this tiff with your manager. You're good to have let it go. No need to hang onto things you cannot change. Best to move on to positive things.
Isn't it unfortunate to have to be around folks like that. At work you'd meet all different types of people, just try to think of all the nice people who are there.
Sorry she lied on you but well done for putting her straight and also trying to forgive here. You can forgive but not forget. At all cost, don't stress yourself out over the likes of her.
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